Sunday, March 30, 2014

DO I LOOK LIKE THE PIED PIPER OF PENIS?!?!

You know what women LOVE? We go crazy for men who stalk us for blocks or say, follow us in the grocery store. I can't even tell you how many women come running up to me proclaiming their love for the men who try to smell their hair, stalk them, try to grab them without asking and gesturing what they want to do to them sexually without any invitation. Why, today I walked into the supermarket and some dirty guy walked past me and was apparently captivated. Though he was making his way out, he decided to go back in and stalk me.

What's better than speaking to a woman like she's a human being and asking her where to find the apples? Walk down all the same aisles as her, staring uncontrollably, as you try to graze her jacket and possibly her skin. I paid no attention at first because I thought I may have misunderstood.

He went down every aisle of the store to look for me. When he finally arrived at my aisle, he just watched me, shopping for nothing. Just staring at the front of the aisle. Once, it became very clear what was happening, I had had enough. I put down my groceries gently and stared right back. I looked him dead in the eye and it scared him. He was hoping I'd be too timid to look at him and hope he'd simply leave me alone. He then panicked and took off.

Real women scare these men. Do yourself a favour ladies, never be afraid to be real with any of 'em. We've been quiet for far too long. Shut that shit down and create the world you want to live in.