Tuesday, March 11, 2014

IF MEN WOULD JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP

I had a classmate not long ago who was really attractive and incredibly smart and tall and had a great smile. Women would always ask me who he was and if they could meet him. But then I'd introduce them and he would open is mouth and something so horrifyingly corny would come out that vaginas all over the world would immediately dry up and close up.

This leads me to my point: If certain men would just shut the fuck up, a lot more sex would be had.

I won't get into the details of what happened last night but suffice it to say that, against all odds, I am attracted to a certain man and want nothing more than to straddle him on his couch. I have been horny and wanting him for what seems like months. But last night he said something silly that made me feel deeply disrespected and now the last thing I want to do is fuck him. Mentally, I cannot bring myself to want to have sex and yet I'm still horny - how does that happen? I'm putting myself on a diet of two-hour long workout sessions, cold showers, prayer and hope (that this combination of sexual frustration and anger goes away as quickly as it came.)

OR, he could have just shut the fuck up.