Thursday, February 6, 2014

PAY FOR ME.

I decided to open myself to new men, hoping to get a better outcome than the ones i am used to and kinda want to move on from. So i started letting difference types of men talk to me, and worked on finding new types of features and styles attractive... slowly, but surely, i am opening myself to new and more things.
So in that let's try something new wave of mine, i have accepted to go on a date-non-date with a boy i met online. He is cute (in this new way i am trying to appreciate) and mostly, seemed polite and is a friend of my cousins. So not a complete stranger. Since i hate conventions, i also hate "dates". So he said "tea" i liked it as i saw it like "going for tea with a stranger in my favorite joint".
Went well, sweet, intelligent, funny, quite cute (working on it) and interesting.

Until he got all "canadian" on my ass. (I am european, culture-wise, but have been living in canada for almost 15years (i am canadian) but although i love canadians, there is one thing i can't deal with: men treat women as complete "equal" (in their head) and you will always see couple share their bills.....)
We both went to pay, he paid (it was 7$!?!) and without even letting me say thank you, added right freakin' away: "you'll get the next one"...... WTF.
First, if his goal was to be like "this is not a date" i still think that was lame and cheap as hell. Even friends pay for one another WITHOUT the condition of "you have to be next". (i am not saying men should pay everything all the time, but i believe it is a balanced thing to figure out in a couple's life, including, cooking, cleaning, kids, vacations, gifts... but in a restaurant or bar... "man"-up)

Secondly, classic courtesy and gallantry are beautiful things.
It makes women feel special as women, and then, a women (still in this unspoken gallantry-deal) will treat you and make you feel like the king of the world.
Life and relationships in general are best when you give without expecting, without calculating. This is my personal and deep opinion.

But if you really want to hear my opinion on this bullshit in the "money way" men seem to always bring back?
Fine I can do that too:
You are a man, you will pay for me. Especially if you want to get romantic or even just sleep with me. If you don't, it won't happen. Why? well because it is part of me seeing you as manly, hot, on top of his game, "i can take care of you", attractive. And NO, it has nothing to do with being a gold digger. It is the same as when men expect us, ladies, to look good, and feminine in an attractive way.

Do you know, my dear "we should be equal, so you should pay half and this "men have to pay" thing is obsolete" guy, how much money and time it takes a lady to look "like a lady should look"????

I remember a friend of mine, going through divorce, telling me about her husband never letting her finish getting ready in the morning, as they shared a car, as he kept saying she was slow and should not put makeup if it took so much time (obviously, he wasn't the one getting the kids ready for school in the am either)...but then told her she should really start taking better care of herself as she didn't look as good as when they first got married?

My men: i will pay half, the day you will have to go get your nails/legs/eyebrows/facial/hair/botox/makeup done, (and i'm not even going into the clothes and lingerie part...) in order to be called "properly put together" in our society.

Oh yes, and we will need to get paid as much as you for the same job of course.

Until then, on a "date": pay for me.