Friday, March 1, 2013

I TOOK A VOW OF CELIBACY...

Two nights ago, i had my girls over for an evening of friendship and raw fish. Not just any of my girls, some of my closest friends. So close, we each even have a secret name, logo and group name: the Boston Tea Party Massacre. Don't ask.

Anyway, it had been a year since we were all together (due to living in different cities) so we had a lot of catching up to do. Life, work, and men. My turn came and i went on on how disappointed in both men and sex i was. How un-exciting and how un-surprising it got. Basically, it was not this great amazing adventure anymore.

One word lead to another, a phrase to an idea and then... they all somehow agreed i should take a vow of celibacy.
The word itself completely freaked me out at first, as i am a very sexual girl (kinda think about it all day). But then the idea settle in and started making sense.

A month. I will do a month of total celibacy.

No sex, no masturbation, no erotic thoughts, no hitting on guys, no charm playing, no bouncing my hips when i pass by a good looking man, no sexting (this one is huge, i'm a part-time sextoholic), no kissing, no sweet touching. NOTHING. A freakin' Sex-Ramadan, without the binge-eating at night.

Not that i believe sex is bad in any way, just that i find that it takes too much of my thoughts, and energy for not much greatness at the end these days. So i wanna figure out where this energy and time will go to this month. I also stated doing 10 minutes of meditation evey morning (through this dope App called Headspace). You know, to see what really is in me when i take the sexual distraction away for a little bit.

I passed my first day successfully (looked away every time i saw a good looking guy, turn off my attention from my phone and certain contacts, shut off certain thoughts and day dreams as soon as they would appear in my mind.
I did good. But it was only day one. I hope this is not going to be as hard as i am afraid it will be.

"Only a month, it's only a month"……yes i can.