Tuesday, March 26, 2013

CELIBACY MONTH CONCLUSION

So today is my last day of my Celibacy Month Vow. And i'm really happy with having done it. It has been hard at times but very healing in general. I really felt like i was keeping my energy to myself, and focusing more on life and small pleasures.
The first few days were hard as i was trying to deprogram the sex out of my everyday thoughts. Then, it really got easy and pleasant. The fact that it was just one month made it easier psychologically. I also was able to get this last man out of my system, which really is a good thing. Thank you Celibacy Month!
One big thing is that it really brought the sensibility back into me. The sexual sensibility that is. I now get really arroused by the smallest things again. A neck, a look, a movement, the slight opening of a man's lips… but not in a "i wanna jump him" kinda way. More like i'd love to spend hours arousing each other kind of way.
Now this week got really hard, as i've started to talk with this beautiful man on a regular basis. I never realized how hard it can get to talk to a man every night on Skype, see his eyes eat you up and still keep from "slipping". I think the hardest is AFTER we Skype, the fact that i can not let my mind wonder because i can not touch myself thinking of him….yet.
Anyway….i'm glad i did it. Felt good, felt healing. More focused, more love to myself.
I would definitely recommend doing it to anyone who needed a bit of me-time.