TO BUY OR TO SELL, WHO'S TO BLAME IN PROSTITUTION?

A few years ago in an internet search frenzy (you know where you find out about a subject then must search EVERYTHING there is to know about them), I became obsessed with Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir, Iceland's now former prime minister. A rockin' lesbian feminist who seemed to be kicking butts and taking names, she had put in place a series of laws to penalize men who paid for sex. She wanted to shift the blame from women who were selling sex onto men who were buying, presumably because those women were already in a vulnerable and marginalized situation. It seemed that if you lessened the demand, prosecuting men and shaming them for the act, you would decrease the prevalence of sex work and sex trafficking. Through Jina Moore's article, "In Sweden Being A Prostitute Is Legal — But Paying One Isn’t", I came to find out that this is actually referred to as the "Nordic Model" and was adapted from Sweden (whatever I still love Jóhanna and that white-blonde bob and "bitch please" stare).  While I support the general focus on male motivation rather than just female victimization, especially when it comes to more severe sexually based crimes, with sex work this may not necessarily have the desired effect. 

 The article brought up a lot of realizations about the "Nordic Model" and a lot of questions about laws around sex work. Penalizing the buyer doesn't necessarily end sex traffic, it's just another hurdle for distributors to figure out how to overcome. In countries where sex work is legal, sex workers may be better off in terms of their access to health services (Germany's healthy looking sex workers on the streets of Berlin did amaze me) but abuse, drug use, and the question of free will still exist. Also, does the "happy prostitute" exist? A woman who freely elects to sell and profit of her body simply because she wants to. Are laws that ban sex work simply another way of trying to control women's bodies? Is it feminist to be anti-sex work because it's exploitative to women or is it anti-feminist to be in favor of legally restricting sex-work because shouldn't women be able to say what they do with their own bodies?

Check out Jina Moore's article on Buzzfeed:

 "In Sweden Being A Prostitute Is Legal — But Paying One Isn’t"

DICK PICS.

"About to take a pic of your dick? Hold the camera lower than you think. 

Lower. 


Even lower. 

Perfect. Now put it down and don't take the picture."

CUNNILINGUS CLASS

WORD.

WHY DO YOU WANNA KNOW?

Ok, you know what I don't get?

When you meet up with a guy FOR SEX ONLY, as in I call you because I want some no-strings-attached fun.

It is agreed upon well in advance, sometimes weeks ahead. No judgement. No life questions. Just meet up for sex and sex only. Seems standard right?

I get all hot. Perk up my yimyams, shave the cooch and get ready for sexy talk over drinks.

Then BOOM, they drop one of these gems:

"Are you seeing anyone?"
"What's your guy situation like?", which makes me feel like I'm supposed to ask them.
I don't want to ask you that. I don't want to know about other people you may be banging or what your relationships with them might be.

TWICE now, guys have asked me that. If you're concerned about me having a boyfriend, you well know anyone could lie to your face. (Not that I am, but I see no point to the question.) Why even?


STOP ASKING THAT QUESTION.
I CALLED YOU TO BANG. SO BANG ME.

YOU ALREADY SHOWED UP. BANG ME.

WHEN DUSTIN CRIES...

The story behind the movie Tootsie.

When a man realizes how cruel and mean the social world we live in is toward women.

Deep.

via UpWorthy.

THE SEX PIC SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR MEN

Or How To Send A Sexy Pic To A Girl 101.

Alright... so this post is for all my modern sexting men out there. Before you say to yourself: this is absurd/ this is obvious, know that i am referring to things that were sent to me. I am not making anything up.

Listen up: sexting is an art.
Not a complicated nor an elitist art. But an art nevertheless. What i mean is that, just as "real life" foreplay, you can't just zip out you dick with a big smile and proudly say: "so? you wet?"

And just as "real life" foreplay, you gotta stay manly while seducing us. Thing is, as it is an image based thing (i am only referring to the sexy pics in this post) you will have to find a manly way to do a selfie.
Here the difficulties begin.

Now this is the main thing to remember: what is hot for a girl to do is not necessarily hot for a dude to do.
What turns us on is different and our bodies are different.

DO NOT do the duck-face lips or the "kiss" face. Not hot.
(the duck face is actually a NO NO even for girls, it is, and always has been ONLY acceptable for ducks to do. Remember that. And the kiss face can be cute, as a "goodnight sweet dreams/have a good day" kind of way but NOT as a "i wanna fuck you real bad right now" kind of way.)

DO NOT take pictures of your ass only. Unless your ass is REALLY SOMETHING SPECTACULAR, chances are, it is pretty average and the sight of it wont make us horny.
The fact that girls "always tell you you have a great ass" does not mean 1) It's true. 2) The image of it alone is sexy.

DO NOT send pictures of your abs if you do not have abs. Ridiculous.

DO NOT take male stripper poses. They are gay. Even for strippers.
Examples: anything 3/4 with flexed arms, anything Justin Bieber would do, anything too posed, anything with one arm up and flexed behind your neck, anything without both feet flat on the ground.

DO NOT take a naked pic in front of your dirty underwear and garbage on the floor. Or infront of an open toilet. Yuck. Cleanliness is hot. Remember that.

DO NOT send a pic of you dick soft. It's ugly and the reality is that what makes us wet is the idea of your excitement for us.

DO NOT send us recycled pics. We want our own hard dick of the moment. We want the thought of us to make it hard. Again, we are not like you: it is not the image alone that tuns us on, it is the power and thought that does.
Plus that's just a turn off and a little insulting.

DO not send us your glorious dick as a close-up after 2 erotic texts. Wait a few more texts. (cause after that: what?)

DO NOT send us a pic you haven't properly looked at before sending. If you don't find yourself hot/manly in it, there is a 200% chance we won't. (i am referring to the slouchy looking, weird face, standing funny pics)

Now...
DO send us thoughts with them, dirty envies and x-rated motivations.

DO send us an evolution-type timeline of your excitement visually. (not all at once right away)

DO send us different views of your cock. Under, over, profile... make us travel around it like we where there.

DO use the camera angle to make your dick look more glorious, girls do that all the time with their butts, so it's only fair-game. (plus it's a fantasy, it's ok)

DO send us videos or you touching yourself for us. It's hot. Especially if we can hear you breath and dirty talk.

I think i've covered the most of it.

Ladies, if I forgot anything, please let me know and we will make this list more and more useful to men and ourselves.
As this is all about making us wet and happy.

YOUR CLIT IS LIKE AN ICEBERG.

Your clit is like an iceberg. Litteraly.
Turns out the biggest part of it..is inside us. The little bulb we commonly call clitoris, really only is the very tip.
Now this is a discovery for me. And a beautiful one i must add.

It just makes so much sense, dosen't it?
It is all one piece of pleasure, not multiple little things that somehow have a bit of a connexion inside our non logical body.

And these images! so breathtaking.

Not to mention that it puts to rest the whole "are you a clitoridian or a vaginal type of woman" bullshit. I'm a everything type of woman my dear man, and so are all of us.

Now i'm just going to copy-patse this entire article by Melodiousmsm on The internal clitoris.

Amazing.

Consider this: In over five million years of human evolution, only one organ has come to exist for the sole purpose of providing pleasure – the clitoris. It is not required for reproduction. It doesn’t have a urethra running through it like the penis, and thus, does not urinate. Its sole function – its singular, wonderful purpose – is to make a woman feel good!!

Sadly, it is precisely because the clitoris has no function apart from female pleasure that science has neglected to study it as intricately as the penis. In my last post I wrote about Princess Marie Boneparte and her revolutionary work on the female orgasm. There was however, one piece of pertinent information she was lacking that science had not yet discovered: the true size and scope of the clitoris.

Try asking the next person you encounter to tell you where the clitoris is located. Having posed this question to others many times myself, I’ll guess that the majority of answers you receive will sound something like, “It’s that small bulb at the top of my lips,” or, “That’s the button up under the hood.” Although these responses aren’t exactly wrong, the interesting truth is that the majority of the clitoris is actually within the pelvis – that is, it’s far more internal than external. Even most of the women I coach, women who are generally worldly and well-informed about their own bodies, react with a combination of fascination and confusion when I explain that their clitoris extends deep within them.

The scientific name for the external “little button” or “bulb” is glans. Not to be confused with glands, glans simply refers to a small circular mass. This little structure contains approximately 8,000 sensory nerve fibers; more than anywhere else in the human body and nearly twice the amount found on the head of a penis! From reading her work, it’s clear that Marie Bonepart mistakenly thought that the clitoris was completely comprised of the glans; and because it is super sensitive and all anyone can see of the organ, her confusion is mirrored by most women today. The fact is, though, that most of the clitoris is subterranean, consisting of two corpora cavernosa (corpus cavernosum when referring to the structure as a whole), two crura (crus when referring to the structure as a whole), and the clitoral vestibules or bulbs.

The glans is connected to the body or shaft of the internal clitoris, which is made up of two corpora cavernosa. When erect, the corpora cavernosa encompass the vagina on either side, as if they were wrapping around it giving it a big hug!

Sketch of an erect clitoris

The corpus cavernosum also extends further, bifurcating again to form the two crura. These two legs extend up to 9cm, pointing toward the thighs when at rest, and stretching back toward the spine when erect. To picture them at rest, imagine the crura as a wishbone, coming together at the body of the clitoris where they attach to the pubic symphysis.

Near each of the crura on either side of the vaginal opening are the clitoral vestibules. These are internally under the labia majora. When they become engorged with blood they actually cuff the vaginal opening causing the vulva to expand outward. Get these puppies excited, and you’ve got a hungrier, tighter-feeling vaginal opening in which to explore!

What does all this mean? Well, for starters, we can finally end that age-old debate of vaginal vs. clitoral orgasms.

In 1953, Kinsey wrote: “The vagina walls are quite insensitive in the great majority of females … There is no evidence that the vagina is ever the sole source of arousal, or even the primary source of erotic arousal in any female.”

Then in 1970, Germaine Greer published The Female Eunuch, which scoffed at Kinsey’s theory. She wrote, “It is nonsense to say that a woman feels nothing when a man is moving his penis inside her vagina. The orgasm is qualitatively different when the vagina can undulate around the penis instead of a vacancy.”

Interestingly, they’re both right. The vagina is not the sole source of arousal, though to stimulate the inner clitoris you can greatly do so by manipulating, displacing, and exploring the vagina with a penis or other apparatus.

Sketch of an erect clitoris

Many women can bring themselves to orgasm without ever inserting anything inside of themselves. They are causing their internal clitoris to become erect and likely stimulating their glans, bulbs, and crura by rubbing themselves on the outside. The corpus cavernousum is the additional erectile tissue encompassing the vagina, and greatly erogenous when stimulated internally.

Let’s also remember, female orgasm is not solely about the clitoris and vagina either. It is far more complex and also involves the workings of multiple nerves, tissues, muscles, reflexes, and mental effort. Some women can think themselves to orgasm. Others can orgasm simply by flexing their pelvic muscles. Considering all the components involved plus the variability of human beings and their anatomies, it’s extremely important to remember no two people are the same. What works for one woman may not work for another. In other words, it’s all custom under the hood.

What really blows my mind is the plethora of misinformation that exists in textbooks, professional medical guides, and on the internet. Take for example, in one of my undergraduate textbooks titled Understanding Human Sexuality, the clitoris is depicted merely as just the glans. The sad fact is it wasn’t until the 1990’s that researchers began using MRI to study the internal structure of the clitoris. By then, the intricate details of the penis were already well known.

Urologist Helen O’Connell of the Royal Melbourne Hospital set out to better understand the microscopic nerve supply to the clitoris using MRI, something that had already been done for men with regard to their sexual function in the 70s. In 1998 she published her findings, informing the medical world of the true scope and size of the clitoris. Yet ironically that same year, men in America began popping Viagra to cure erectile dysfunction.

Sketch of a clitoris at rest

In 2005 The American Urological Association published one of Dr. O’Connell’s reports on clitoral anatomy. The report itself even states, “The anatomy of the clitoris has not been stable with time as would be expected. To a major extent its study has been dominated by social factors … Some recent anatomy textbooks omit a description of the clitoris. By comparison, pages are devoted to penile anatomy.” The report also mentions how seemingly impossible it is to understand the internal structure of the clitoris with just one diagram. Several are required to truly get a comprehensive understanding of it.

Alas it wasn’t until as recent as 2009, French researchers Dr. Odile Buisson and Dr. Pierre Foldès gave the medical world it’s first complete 3-D sonography of the stimulated clitoris. They did this work for three years without any proper funding. Thanks to them, we now understand how the erectile tissue of the clitoris engorges and surrounds the vagina – a complete breakthrough that explains how what we once considered to be a vaginal orgasm is actually an internal clitoral orgasm.

The internal erect clitoris

Dr. Foldès has been performing surgery on women who have suffered from clitoral mutilation, restoring pleasure to over 3,000 circumcised patients. He also gets passionate about the lack of study with regards to the clitoris:

“When I returned to France to treat genital mutilation, I was amazed that they were never tried. The medical literature tells us the truth about our contempt for women. For three centuries, there are thousands of references to penile surgery, nothing on the clitoris, except for some cancers or dermatology -and nothing to restore its sensitivity. The very existence of an organ of pleasure is denied, medically. Today, if you look at the anatomy books that all surgeons have, you will find two pages above. There is a real intellectual excision. “

The internal erect clitoris

So there you have it. As if all the repression, cultural influences, guilt, childhood imprints, and fear of being our true selves center stage in society weren’t enough, we also have the politics of medicine keeping us in the dark. The great news is that researchers like Dr. Buisson, Dr. Foldès, and Dr. O’Connell are paving the way for greater knowledge … and greater pleasure!

Hope springs … internal!

Now for something a little less serious and more fun! Here is a video of artist and sex educator, Betty Dodson, drawing the internal clitoris. Note: the glans are accidentally labeled “glands” in the video, but remember the proper term is glans!.

BOOM.

PICK UP LINE

"I'm not trying to impress you or anything but ... I am Batman " 
I must admit, I liked it.

INSTAGRAM DRAMA

I'm going to tell you a story. The story of 2 days ago.

Once upon a sleepless night, a young urban lady was wondering around her apartment, doing what 2.0 young girls do on a cold saturday night that was not chosen to be a party night: dance alone on her favorite 90s RnB jams in her bedroom, in compfty yet sexy clothes. And as we all do way too much ADD generation that we are, she went on Instagram for no reason.
I was feeling good, happy and in the moment. I felt pretty and Real. So i did something that i had no idea would cause so much "feedback": i posted a picture of myself in that moment. Dark, unfocused and with very little details, i felt the picture looked good and somewhat artistic. True to that moment and how i felt without revealing that much.

What happened next was a little overwhelming.
I first got a few messages that made me feel like a slut. So i erased it.
And a second later, i felt so dumb erasing something i felt was not deserving of that kind of judgement, i put it back up and went to sleep, thinking i did the right thing not falling for the mean words and keeping my ground as i had done nothing worth judging.

The morning came with craziness.
I started getting messages after messages after messages…. my phone was blowing up with text messages and facebook mail.

I felt completely overwhelmed and judged and so i erased it AGAIN.

Now most texts were not mean at all, mostly guys i barely speak to at all usually, being like: "about that scandalous picture"" yo that picture.." "or " omg was that you?" or even " i heard of a picture and i really wanted to see it"…
I was starting to wonder why this freakin' pic had so much impact, knowing and seeing what some girls (some i know) post all the time. I didn't feel it was far from who i am, far from my image.

I like to think that i am a free minded and open about her body and sexuality kinda girl so it started to really bother me that i had let this bug me so much. (I know, i sometimes think too much )

Thing is, it seemed to me that most people took it the wrong way, and by people, i mean boys.
They seemed to think, as they usually do, that when a girl posts a sexy pic, it it necessarily FOR them. To get THEIR attention.
NO.
My men listen up: when a girl dresses sexy, or wears lipstick, or wears heels: it is NOT necessarily for you at all. Some girls, yes. But me, and most of the chicks i know: NO.

WE DO IT FOR OURSELVES. I buy and wear sexy underwear for ME. I dress sexy for ME. I post sexy mood picture on Instagram for ME.
I like and need to find myself pretty and sexy. It's part of how we live, how we grow.
If that picture was for you: i would have send it to you directly, and with others, trust me, i do that if i like a guy.

I remember this TV show i few years back where this couple was having a crisis: she wanted a breast augmentation and he din't want her to, saying she didn't need it as he thought she looked just fine for his taste. He was really upset as he kept saying she was a slut because she was OBVIOUSLY doing it to get the other men's attention.
All the ladies in the audience, including me where so upset at this stupid way of seeing this situation. The girl was hopelessly trying to explain that she didn't care about the other men's attention, she needed to do it for herself, to feel prettier and more feminine. He never got it.
It's a girl thing i guess as i know for a fact that most guys really don't understand this.

To get back to the story. What i did next, to get over this situation was a little out of the ordinary. I wanted to repair this. I felt i did nothing wrong but by taking the picture down, i felt i had acted like i did something wrong. like i was ashamed of it. And i am NOT.
I took a marker and started writing words and meanings all over my body. From neck to toes.
It felt beautiful. Healing.
I took a picture and posted it.
I felt better. Like i re-owned my half naked body and was proudly showing the "instagram world".

Maybe this whole thing really just happened in my head. But whatever, it did happen for me.

And now i will post the so called "scandalous" picture here. Because there is nothing wrong with it in my eyes.

WOMEN LIKE PORN

Source:
http://internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com/internet-pornography-statistics.html

THE TIMES OF INDIA

It is cold as ____ out there

FYI Fellas. It has been a cold mofo out there past few days and will continue to be for a while soooo please stop freaking the hell out cause your regular no strings attached booty thang has recently been indulging in some cuddle time with you.

No need to call the troops to get your emotional barrier up cause she's might just be freakin' cold and if you weren't in such a state of panic you might realize that falling asleep in mountain of breasts is best place to be when it's -40 outside.

Relax. Rent a movie. Pop some popcorn. We'll fuck. We'll cuddle. and no it doesn't mean you'll wake up with a girlfriend.

SILENT ONES

A man that comes in total silence… so silent you are not sure at all he actually came…you just know 'coz he told you he did and stopped doing you.
Really don't like that, creeps me out.

I THINK I'M BECOMING A WOMAN AGAIN

So i finally had sex with this insanely good looking man i met last year in Miami.
But even though the performance was good…like better than i actually expected it to be, i still didn't care for it at all…. he ate me really good, we even started in the shower and used the mirror as a guest but it was "blah".
It lacked the most important thing: a sexual connection, a sexual tension. It was so clear that we were gonna have sex that there was no game, no crazy tension, (you know the one that makes you wet just with a look or the touch of a finger on your neck), nothing.
Funny thing is he told me he was pretty happy with the whole thing, being completely ignorant of my lack of real interest. I guess the fact that i was doing him right, wet and actively participating was enough proof of my happiness. Men…
Somehow, i used to be able to fuck a man just based on his look. But it seems now, i need a bit more…like a conversation or real foreplay (the one that comes before fingering, licking my breast, and eating me out, the REAL foreplay starts hours before..).
I think i'm becoming a woman again.

RESTAURANT

If you do not pay for my supper, you are automatically placed in my "friends" zone. Forever.
The other way around is not a truth, but in this way, it is.
And there is no coming back from the friends zone. Unless you REALLY impress me. But usually, that's a date suicide.
(this is only my opinion, i know some friends if mine don't agree)

A STRAIGHT REMINDER

I don't understand why men need to remind you that they're straight when a gay guy flirts with them. The other day, my gay guy friend came over to chat with me and my straight guy friend. We all know each other very well and gay guy isn't trying to chase anyone. He is, though, a great flirt. I find this adorable.

One day, he came over, and jokingly looked at me ( I had my legs showing).

"Looks like I have competition!" the gay guy said. We all laughed and he walked away. Harmless right??

Straight guy "You know.....there is no competition."

Me "Meaning?"

Straight guy "You would win every time."

Me "Are you trying to remind me that you're straight?"

Straight guy "I like pussy, not dick."

Me "Why do you feel the need to remind me?"

Straight guy "Well, I wouldn't want anyone to think I'm gay."

Me "But I already KNOW you're not gay."

Straight guy "I know, but......you never know."

Me "Look, if someone came up to you and said you were an astronaut, would you automatically become one?"

Straight guy "No."

Me "Exactly."

WHAT ABOUT YOUNG GIRLS INTIMIDATES US?

‎"What is it about young girls that’s so incendiary? That could make “Jailbait” for a time the second most popular search on Reddit, that would ever put the words “12-year-old” and “slut” together? This BS – this dehumanizing crap – can’t just be chalked up to the inherent budding attractiveness of youth and freshness. This goes way, way beyond that particular can of worms. I think it has a whole lot to do with just how deeply engrained the hatred of women is in our culture."

Article from http://www.salon.com/2012/10/19/the_war_on_12_year_old_girls/ 

AN ANSWER TO THE GENTLEMAN WHO ASKED MORE INFO ABOUT THE "SIZE DOESN'T MATTER" POST

Figures this could be interesting to more than just one man, pretty sure it's a common question. I've tried my best to answer honestly. It gets a little graphic.

Anonymous asked: "can you expand on this topic. I'm always interested in hearing a womens perspective on penis size. Is length more important, Is width more important. (…)

"Look, it's actually a lil more complex than just a right size.. It first will depend on your partner's vagina.
Her size and inclination. Yes, girls can have their vagina and uterus in different angles! So girls with tight and not too elastic vagegeys will tend to like a smaller dick. Not i've actually had the "inclination" talk with my girls a few days back: i personally hate a curved dick: i like it straight (and VERY hard of course) Now some of my girls disagree, it surely has to do with our own inside angle.
About the size: there is such a thing as too small. Again, we all have our own number for what will qualify as"too small". Too big is bad too: it hurts!If we don't get wet enough: bleeds. Lub can make it go in (lub makes any size go in, it's crazy!) but if the dick it too big, it will still hurt inside! It will bump in our stomach. Trust me, this hurts for days. a girls that tells everybody she "looooves huuuge dicks" (insert annoying voice) is basically telling you she has either a huge vagina or an extremely elastic one!
Width is actually more an important factor for most girls (i know of) we do tend to agree that a thick dick is a good thing, thin being…well less good.
Again, some ladies care about circumcision ( i know i find a cut dick much more attractive) but some really don't care.
Now 2 things i'm pretty sure all girls will agree on: taste and hardness.
A smelly dick is gross. And a guy that can't stay hard is not too cool. Guess you'll have to have a great personality to keep her!
Lil' trick: drink a lot of pineapple juice: it will make your cum taste better (it works). "

BETTER TO FUCK A CUT DICK

"Studies link circumcision with numerous health benefits: the procedure is associated with lower risks of urinary tract infections in babies and young boys, and reductions in men’s risk of contracting HIV, genital herpes and human papillomavirus (HPV); it may also help reduce the odds of penile and prostate cancers. By reducing the burden of sexually transmitted infections among men, it may also help keep more women infection-free as well.

Read full TIME article here. 

THE CLIT IN MY BRAIN...